“It’s not hard…

20170824_072402“It’s not hard to decide what you want your life to be about. What’s hard she said is figuring out what you’re willing to give up in order to do the things you really care about..” ~ Shauna Nequist; Bittersweet

I sit and cry. My tears are painful as they drip down my face. My eyes burn and are heavy but still I can’t stop. I want love… I want peace. I’ve tasted what life can be like when you believe in yourself and don’t question every little thing and I want more of that, A LOT more! I want others to know it can be done and then DO IT too!

I feel like I’ve been lost many times in my life.

I’m seeing that my compromises to make others comfortable have landed me in a place of uncertainty about my life. Uncertainty, not in a bad way though. I see the “error” of my ways. I see that I got so lost in making others happy that I had a hard time recognizing what it is that really makes my soul burn.

I’m proud of me… but not for the reasons that others see, that you may see. I’m proud that I’ve started to see the cracks in my life and that I’ve started to let things break away, people break away, relationships break away and a job break away.

The cracks I see in myself can and will be fixed. We all have cracks, they aren’t a negative. They are opportunities for growth. The most important thing that I’m learning is that it’s ME, it’s up to ME to say what I want and to GO AND GET IT!

I feel strong! I can see my strength through unmasking my weaknesses. I’ve learned so much.

Everyone’s scared, few carry on…

I’ve always been a fighter. I get scared though. Heck! I’m scared right now, as I write this. I’m scared that I won’t ever find my peace. I won’t ever feel settled in my life. I’m scared that I’ll regret some of my decisions. I

The truth is…

Every now and then I stop believing.
Every now and then I stop caring.
Every now and then I feel empty and wonder where I went and if that was truly me or if my truth is in the dark moments.
Sometimes I feel so hopeless.
Sometimes I feel so helpless.
Sometimes I want to cry but there are no tears behind these eyes.
Sometimes I wonder if the struggle was mine. Sometimes I wonder if I’m so used to fighting that I don’t know how to live in peace.
Some days I wonder if I should settle as I’m not sure what I want. I just know that I don’t want to settle.

Would it be more peaceful if I just stopped? If I just gave up?

My answer is a firm NO! That’s just me, it’s just who I am…

Always looking up!
Always carrying on!

From my heart to your heart, you are beautifully made!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s