COMPARISON… YUCK! That word is right up there with SHOULD for me!
We ALL do it though, in fact, it’s human nature to want to see how we measure up in comparison to others – society has programmed us to compare ourselves to external measures. If you don’t believe me, turn on your TV, browse your favorite social media or flip open a magazine! Once you are aware of it, it’s insulting…
It is what it is though which is why we have to be vigilant about where we focus our precious energy each and every minute of the day.
Comparing ourselves to others, depending on where we stand with our own confidence, ability and connection to ourselves, has the ability to demotivate us and leave us feeling worthless.
It’s so easy to fall in the trap of comparison in our socially connected world which is why it’s extremely important to become aware of our tendency to compare and how it impacts our day-to-day lives because believe me, IT DOES!
You woke up early and got your workout in, had a healthy breakfast and even made it to work on time. You are feeling good and the world is yours! You start working away and then decide to look at Facebook. It’s just a harmless distraction, right? (DEFINITELY NOT!)
Scrolling through your feed you see update after update of people having FUN! This is a random Tuesday which leaves you wondering if people even work? Filtered pictures, gourmet looking meals, put together outfits…
You look down and see the coffee stain on your blouse and start thinking that you really need to be more put together, plan a vacation and get your hair done. Suddenly, your mood is zapped! All because you decided to “take a break” from your day and check out all those notifications that you saw on the home-screen of your phone.
Comparison has ROBBED YOU of your focus!
Comparison has you feeling like you suddenly have SO FAR TO GO before you are even up to par. It’s disgusting and such a shame, such a trap that we’ve all been in.
Believe me, I know that it is sometimes easier to look outside of ourselves and feel like we are inadequate in comparison to other people rather than taking responsibility for our own progress but it’s not worth it.We default to comparison as opposed to giving ourselves credit for all we are doing, have done and will do.
Do you realize that it actually takes more courage to be self-referential and look at ourselves to see whether we are measuring up to our OWN standards or meeting our full potential? It is and do you know why? Because the world tells us not to, society wants us to play the victim card.
The truth is each of us has very special gifts, and we are each here for very specific reasons. We each have a life purpose to fulfill and with this come the lessons that we must learn and the circumstances that we must go through in order to evolve as spiritual beings.
To compare our lives to other people’s lives when we have no idea what they are here to learn or fulfill doesn’t benefit anyone – especially you.
Instead, if we can accept ourselves, appreciate the special talents and qualities that we alone possess, and realize that each of us is going through certain kinds of experiences for a reason, we are less likely to focus so much on what other people have or are doing.
Realizing and valuing our own uniqueness enables us to bring out the best in ourselves so we can get on with living rather than preoccupying ourselves with meaningless comparisons.
A few things that I’ve done to help me be more confident and compare myself less to the world around me are:
- Move all social media apps to a folder (and not on my home screen) of my phone. We typically play with our phones while we are waiting to do something not so glamorous like before heading to Wal-Mart for our weekly essentials. Not really a great time to be focusing on what everyone else is doing because let’s face it, even if they are doing yard-work it makes us feel like we aren’t having much fun.
- I DO NOT look at social media when I’m feeling low. I go to the long list of other things that make me feel GOOD instead. A book on Audible, a motivational video on YouTube, a phone call to a friend or silence for 5 minutes with no distractions.
- I am working to give myself a bit more credit for how far I’ve come and congratulate myself for all those little accomplishments that when added up CHANGE MY LIFE!
Work towards being more vigilant about where you focus your precious energy each and every minute of the day. You are worth it!!
and remember, it’s human nature to compare ourselves so whatever you do, don’t beat yourself up if you catch yourself doing it. Just recognize what you are doing and then do the exact opposite.
Lots of love,