Giving in.

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I remember a time when I cried for the things that I have now. All the things I wanted, needed and felt I should have – some of which I have now and some, I’m so glad that I did not get!

To come from where I came from…

I’m not talking about money, parents, circumstance, friends, family or lack thereof. I mean I totally could but that’s a different message all together.

I’m talking about my state of mind.

Those feelings that use to follow me around, the ones that I clinged so tightly to because I thought they were my identity. I really thought that my life had already been written for me (this is at the age of 17 mind you). I thought my path was already paved, potholes & detours included!

If you would have asked me back then, I would have told you that I was just not meant to be like anyone else. I for some reason was meant to feel all the pain and be unhappy.

Sometimes I’d admit it and ask for help.

Or pity or support… whatever you want to call it but it was only a band-aid; it was only a temporary fix. It was only a small detour off my road because I always ended up back where I “should” be. I know now that it was my thought patterns and the people and things that I was surrounding myself with and focusing on that were holding me back. I was purposely setting my bar EXACTLY where I felt I was supposed to set it given my circumstances in life (all those things that I mentioned above that really don’t dictate anything in our lives, UNLESS WE LET THEM!)

Do you want to know why?

Because I was not doing anything to change me. I would sit and think that you all had it better (which doesn’t matter anyway. So what if you do? That still gets me nowhere). I would sit there and come up with all the reasons why I deserved to feel this way, why things weren’t working out for me, why I was destined to struggle my whole life just to meet my basic needs. I’d sit there and DO NOTHING except have a pity party.

I always knew how I wanted to feel, strike that, I knew how I didn’t want to feel anymore.

That is eventually what plunged me into the world of personal development books and education. I saw gaps in my life and I decided to just address them because not addressing them was so painful. We have to live our way through growth and it’s painful but it’s worth it.

If you don’t know what you want, that’s ok! Start with what you do not want. That’s always easier. The answer is within you.

It’s possible.
Be your own hero.
Put your own back against the wall then push forward.

Don’t romanticize your life, live it!
People change. You can change.
Circumstances change.
Everything is changing.
You can remain or let yourself become a slave to your past or you can choose to become a warrior for your future.
I’m telling you, either way you will experience pain so, why not get something out of it?

Success is in this moment.
Change will happen no matter what, make progress.

Reach out for support.
It’s not enough to want change; you have to make the changes.

 

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